by
Jason France
A good portion of the county was pummeled yesterday with heavy snowfall. If we had a plan, then things might go a bit more smoothly. Here are few helpful tips to help you all better prepare for that next blizzard:
Do watch the snowfall. It’s quite pretty.
Don’t get too attached to the prettiness. Mother nature will work you to the bone cleaning up all that snow. Refrain from using profanity if possible. Profanity doesn’t clean up snow.
Do plan to spend your entire day outdoors. A proper hat, gloves, boots, jacket, snow pants are requirements.
Don’t worry about how you look. Nobody cares if your North Face jacket matches your $20 Target snow pants. Sweatpants, Zubaz pants, ugly hats are all acceptable.
Do have food in your house PRIOR to the snowstorm. Venturing out in a blizzard is just dumb, plain and simple.
Don’t plan to drive through 3 feet of snow. This goes for everyone. You aren’t going to make it through that drift, Mr. Volkswagen Jetta or Dodge Caliber.
Do plan to un-bury your car if you park on the street during a snowstorm.
Don’t make plow-drivers mad in your neighborhood. Smile and waive as they drive by. A baked good or a cappuccino makes a good peace offering.
Do have your snowblower, shovels and gas cans ready PRIOR to the snowstorm.
Don’t disassemble your broken snowblower in the snow. You WILL lose the bolts. Ask me how I know.
Do help your neighbors get cleaned up too. It’s the nice thing to do. They may not return the favor but you made the first move.
Don’t blow your snow onto their roof, garage, car or driveway. That’s not nice even though it might be fun.
Do enjoy cold alcoholic refreshments after completion of your hard work.
Don’t run out of alcoholic refreshments. Profanity doesn’t produce more cold beer.